This came to us from Catriona Wallace of Flamingo in Sydney. Sad, funny and unfortunately, true!
Joyce
Begin forwarded message:
> From: Dr Catriona Wallace < "> >
> Subject: FW: Passport Application - A Must Read
> Date: May 7, 2014 11:15:00 PM GMT+02:00
> To: "Kevin Cox ( "> )" < "> >, "'Joyce Searls ( "> )'" < "> >, Doc Searls < "> >, Julie Trajkovski < "> >
>
> J, D, K and J,
>
> This is a viral email doing the rounds at the moment. Very funny and very pertinent to personal cloud.
>
> C x
>
>
> Subject: Fwd: Passport Application
>
> This is an actual letter sent to the DFAT (Department of
> Foreign Affairs and Trade) Immigration Minister.
>
> Dear Mr Minister,
>
> I'm in the process of renewing my passport, and still
> cannot believe this. >
> How is it that K-Mart has my address and telephone number,
> and knows that I bought a television set and golf clubs and
> condoms from them back in 1997, and yet the Federal
> Government is still asking me where I was born > and on
> what date ? >
> For Christ sakes, do you guys do this by hand ?
>
> My birth date you have in my Medicare information, and it
> is on all the income tax forms I've filed for the past 40
> years. >
> It is also on my driver's licence, on the last eight
> passports I've ever had, on all those stupid customs
> declaration forms I've had to fill out before being allowed
> off planes > over the past 30 years.
>
> It's also on all those insufferable census forms that I've
> filled out every 5 years since 1966. >
> Also... would somebody please take note, once and for all,
> that my mother's name is Audrey, my father's name is Jack,
> and I'd be absolutely bloody astounded if that ever >
> changed between now and when I drop dead !!! >
> SHIT! What do you people do with all this information we
> keep having to provide? >
> I apologise, Mr Minister. But I'm really pissed off this
> morning. >
> Between you and me, I've had enough of all this bullshit!
>
> You send the application to my house, then you ask me for
> my bloody address! >
> What the hell is going on with your mob? Have you got a
> gang of mindless Neanderthal arseholes working there! >
> And another thing, look at my damn picture. Do I look like
> Bin Laden? I can't even grow a beard for God's sakes. I just
> want to go to New Zealand and see my new granddaughter.
> (Yes, my son interbred with a Kiwi girl). And would someone
> please tell me, why would you give a shit whether or not I
> plan on visiting a farm in the next 15 days? In the unlikely
> event I ever got the urge to do something weird to a sheep
> or a horse, believe you me, I'd sure as hell not want to
> tell anyone! >
> Well, I have to go now, 'cause I have to go to the other
> side of Sydney , and get another bloody copy of my birth
> certificate - and to part with another $80 for the privilege
> of accessing MY OWN INFORMATION! >
> Would it be so complicated to have all the services in the
> same spot, to assist in the issuance of a new passport on
> the same day? >
> Nooooo…that'd be too bloody easy and makes far too
> much
> sense. >
> You would much prefer to have us running all over the
> bloody place like chickens with our heads cut off, and then
> having to find some 'high-society' wanker to confirm that
> it's really me in the goddamn photo! You know the photo...
> the one where we're not allowed to smile?..you bloody
> morons. >
> Signed - An Irate Australian Citizen.
>
> P.S. Remember what I said above about the picture, and
> getting someone in 'high-society' to confirm that it's me?
> Well, my family has been in this country
> since before 1820! In 1856, one of my forefathers took up
> arms with Peter Lalor. (You do remember the Eureka
> Stockade!) >
> I have also served in both the CMF and regular Army for
> something over 30 years (I went to Vietnam in 1967), and
> still have high security clearances. I'm also a personal
> friend of the president of the RSL....Lt General Peter
> Cosgrove sends me a Christmas card each year. >
> However, your rules require that I have to get someone
> "important" to verify who I am; you know...someone like my
> doctor - WHO WAS BORN AND RAISED IN BLOODY PAKISTAN!...a
> country where they either assassinate or hang their ex-Prime
> Ministers - and are suspended from > the Commonwealth and
> United Nations for not having the "right sort of
> government".. >
> You are all pen-pushing paper-shuffling bloody idiots!
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