Assignment 4 Peer Review

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Revision as of 08:14, 18 April 2012 by <bdi>Mike</bdi> (talk | contribs)
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If you'd like to receive or give feedback from/to other students on your rough drafts, please submit them here.

Brandon A. Ceranowicz Draft 2.2: Slightly more professional than the last draft... would appreciate any feedback! Theoretical framework and conclusions still to go - these will be in draft 3.0. BrandonAndrzej 16:18, 26 April 2011 (UTC)

Brandon A. Ceranowicz Draft 2.5: Conclusion is live! Take a look. Theoretical framework still to come. BrandonAndrzej 23:14, 27 April 2011 (UTC)

In this paper, Brandon skillfully guides a detailed tour of open source licenses. The composition's robust structure ably contains the fine points of the subject matter. There is enough information here for several projects. One possible new work would be a more generalized overview of open source licenses for the layman. Even in the paper's current format, a summary table comparing the basic aspects of the individual licenses would be useful. --SCL 18:07, 1 May 2011 (UTC)

Thank you for your excellent advice! I have incorporated a visual representation of license content into the next draft.BrandonAndrzej 01:25, 2 May 2011 (UTC)

Brandon A. Ceranowicz Draft 3.0: Theoretical framework is up; barring any major errors, this should be the final draft of the long form version - now I have to condense it into 10 pages... suggestions very much appreciated!

Brandon A. Cernaowicz Final Draft (long version) This is the completed long version. Abridged version to follow shortly.

Brandon A. Ceranowicz Draft 1.0 (short version) This is a rough draft of the abridged version. The sourcing needs to be completely redone. (Also still a little long...)BrandonAndrzej 18:31, 3 May 2011 (UTC)

Brandon A. Ceranowicz Draft 1.1 (short) Sourcing fixed. This should be the final product, barring any feedback. - BrandonAndrzej 23:18, 7 May 2011 (UTC)

-- Brandon, sorry had fully intended to give your paper a comprehensive read, just couldn't find the time. Best of luck in you travels! --Gclinch 21:31, 10 May 2011 (UTC)

Onyema Ajuogu: Internet infiltration to Nigeria: burden of cyber-crime to e-commerce

Onyema, this is a very interesting topic, but I would suggest for an academic paper you need to footnote in your paper information you have found from third party sources. Although you have original ideas, it gives your paper credibility to cite third party information you have used to develop the conclusions in your paper. [[sjennings 16:39, 5 May 2011 (UTC)]]

Onyema , All in all very interesting paper. May I suggest that you elaborate about the problems you refer to when you say, “SAT3 submarine cable system that is connecting Africa to India( of which both have had a significant problems).” Do you mean technology, social, political …? I suggest you be more explicit which will help as you lay out your arguments later in the paper.

Also, I saw a typo in your title, “The role National Law is plying.” I think you want “Playing.”

Thanks for the early preview. --Gclinch 20:17, 7 May 2011 (UTC)

Name: Guy Title: The Transition to Next Generation 9-1-1 in North America Link: Note: I am still working on my conclusions and I need to clean up endnotes, references etc.. I'll appreciate any comments. Thanks TGIF! --Gclinch 23:17, 6 May 2011 (UTC)

Getting closer. Click here for May 7 version of my paper. Good Luck everybody. --Gclinch 20:17, 7 May 2011 (UTC)

-- Guy: Of negligable importance, I know, but don't you find the roman numerals to be a bit unwieldy? - BrandonAndrzej 23:23, 7 May 2011 (UTC)

--Brandon. Thank you. Yes. A friend of mine likes to say that, “if you want to seem smart, use Latin in your presentations.” ;- ) Not so in footnote numbering, they are just a pain. I've switched to regular numerals and improved my paper. Thanks! --Gclinch 19:32, 8 May 2011 (UTC)

I found the use of visuals very helpful, but the detail about the survey responses to individual questions made the paper long. I know it helps support your point, but I did find it distracting. Very interesting information which I felt motivated to share with my family. Also great in class presentation. <<sjennings 01:06, 9 May 2011 (UTC)>>

-- Susan, thank you for your suggestion and compliment. I have taken your advice and lightened up the research section before submitting my final draft. --Gclinch 03:11, 9 May 2011 (UTC)

Guy: this is really a great paper. Looks so professional! Few minor minor things: -pg 4 typo: under "Current State" section, first sentence" answers at to one" unless i'm reading that wrong. -pgs 5-6 and 9: inconsistent with footnote format, some are before parenthesis and periods, and others are after. Myra 20:25, 9 May 2011 (UTC)

Myra's Draft--I know we're down to the 11th hour, but any feedback would be greatly appreciated! Thx in advance: Myra 20:25, 9 May 2011 (UTC)

@Myra: Funny, and entertaining project. Fantastic. So are you saying that people who use the internet are nerds? Just Johnny 06:30, 16 April 2012 (UTC)

-- Hi Myra, Thank you for the help with my paper. I got a chance to look at your paper this morning. Sorry I couldn’t get to it sooner (busy day at work yesterday). Very interesting material presented in an informative way. Just a couple of suggestions: I’ve heard from Alex a couple of style points. One is that the profs are looking for 10 pages of double spaced text. I know that this is a bit of "do as I say, not as I do," since (excluding graphics) my paper is about 15 pages of text, but you may want to consider thinking about any information in the text that could be summarized or moved to the foot/end notes (I took Susan’s great suggestion on this topic and improved the readability from one of my earlier drafts). Also you may want to reformat to double spaced text. One other suggestion is that in sections such as the one that begins with, “For example, one contributor, Brandy, was …” you may want to present the items that follow in a bulleted list. This will make the information easier to digest and make some of the lengthier paragraphs a little easier on the reader. Thanks for sharing your paper. It’s a topic I haven’t thought much about since I was younger. I knew many friends and acquaintances who would have benefitted from this type of social support when I was in my teens and twenties had this existed at that time. Best of luck! --Gclinch 11:12, 10 May 2011 (UTC)

Excellent--thanks so much, Guy! I will gladly take your advice about the formatting, etc. Good luck as well! :) Myra 12:17, 10 May 2011 (UTC)

Mike Brant Assignment 4 Rough Draft 08:14, 18 April 2012 (UTC)